Yea Verily

I suck. I suck at this whole keeping up with blogs and such dealio. Never was good, check out my LJ. Anyway, I spent far too much time updating that journal and posting... Will copy/ paste to here if you don't want to head over there and to save me shut eye time.

"Trying to get life back. On Weight watchers and down from 229 to 225. I actually went from 260 to 220 right after I lost the fluid retention after having Kay. I gained a bit after that when I could finally get back to FL after a long time in LA with my late father. But I'm back on and even walking with Kay in the stroller everyday for an hour or so...when it doesn't rain. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and on Lexapro. The psychiatrist, himself, doesn't really help me so much as just talking to a therapist and getting meds helped. I felt totally nuts, worse than in school...I couldn't control it like I did back then. A baby is more important than grades in school. I realize now that I'm kinda messed up in the head. I don't think right. I'm really discombobulated in there so it take me longer to do things, think things through and such. It's great for abstract thinking and coming up with interesting connections or new solutions but it's not so great for keeping it together. I have an impulse control disorder and I believe I have a mild attachment disorder or it might be borderline personality. They seem the most accurate but I can't really tell. All the therapist is interested in is the impulse control disorder though. That's why I came to him originally so that makes sense. Anyway, so I'm working on menus, a garage sale and a few other things. Trying to get organized and such. I really want to get all the mess out of Kay's room so that we can get her a bedroom set up. She's doing fine in the cosleeper that we have attached to our bed for now but she's getting too big for it. Have evidence. I so heart being her Mommy. Now that I have meds to keep me even, I have so much fun with her and I can be there for her when she's upset. There is also just something wonderful about going to sleep with Billy on one side and Kay on the right and waking up to Kay trying to stick her toes in her mouth and Billy trying to snuggle....those nights, those beautiful mornings are what it's all about."

Well, that's about it. Night!